What makes a good relationship?
I have come to wonder if I am even capable of answering that question, much less being in one. Is it because I have become selfish and the effort is to great. It takes effort you know from the beginning to eternity, if it is going to last. I am guessing there comes a point between two people where the criticism or praise, that was necessary at the beginning becomes nice and helpful, but no longer relevant.
I do feel there are two things that are absolutes and a lasting relationship must have … One is laughter and the other is the concern for the other persons well being, on their own terms.
Laughter because there is no perfect individual. Laughter keeps you alive and healthy. There are some many things that happen in life that need to be laughed at rather than stressed over. Being able to laugh at yourself is imperative. We all make mistakes. Since there is no perfect individual you need to forgive what you think is “missing” and love the rest. We all have those “missing” pieces.
To wish someone well on their own terms isn’t easy. It requires respect, trust and clarity. It allows a person to be their self. Risking of course, along the way, a chance of them walking away. However, if it does, it wasn’t supposed to be. Hopefully, there was good laughter and love to carry forever.
Relationships sometime imply specific ways or guidelines in which two people deal with each other. Agreements, more or less, unspoken or spoken. The more defined the rules the less the union has a chance to grow and change. People change, so relationships will change. The less defined, however, the scarier it is, the stronger is the bond that can develop.
Relationships ebb and flow as the tide. Platonic at times and at others times filled with romance. There will be times even when you seem to be going in different directions or the other is driving you mad. All of which should be an expected and humbling experience. A relationship based on things that are certain and unchanging is not a relationship of love.
Phew, Sometimes I think too much…