A popular lyricist, Anna Russel gently mocked the “me generation” with its forms of explaining away all the strange behavior:

I went to my psychiatrist to be psychoanalyzed to find out why I killed the cat and blacked my husband’s eyes.  He laid me on a downy couch to see what he could find, and here is what he dredged up from my subconscious mind:  When I was one, my mommy hid my dolly in a trunk, and so it follows, naturally, that is why I am a drunk.  When I was two, I saw my father kiss the maid one day, and that is why I suffer now from kleptomania.  At three, I had the feeling of ambivalence towards my brothers, and so it follows naturally I poisoned all my lovers.  But I am happy; now I’ve learned the lesson this has taught:  Everything I do that’s wrong is someone elses’s fault!

– Taken from the book, “The God Who Is There” by D. A. Carson

Waiting is painfully hard, especially when the wait is open ended.  You are flying blind so it becomes very frustrating, very fast.  You have a five hour window set aside for the plumber.  Will he come in the first hour or the last five minutes?  What do you do with your wait?  Either way, the “not knowing” is very frustrating.  We waste time and get impatient.  Put that wait on a much larger scale and you have a serious issue if you let it.

When we are waiting on something, a job, an idea, an answer, “our wait” becomes a syndrome.  It’s all we think about.  It consumes us.  We become “stuck”!  It’s so easy to do and so hard to change and control.  It’s like when you buy a white convertible, you suddenly realize there are so many of these on the road, that you never noticed before.  Your brain can do strange things to us.  You can easily get wrapped up in what caused our wait and end up in a downward spiral, or do things to help ignore the wait because it becomes so big and overwhelming.   The wait causes anxiety which disrupts our ability to hear our friends, family and God clearly.

It’s easy to stay “stuck”!  There are many causes to staying where you are and not moving forward, taking chances, or changing behaviors.  Negative thinking is a biggy.  It’s too difficult, too hot, too embarrassing, the wrong time of the year, it doesn’t feel good, there isn’t enough money, you name it! We can come up with some amazing excuses, or I can!   Others thrive on the chaotic.   Impulsivity and emotion become very strong, while planning and problem solving disappear, gone!  Inability to calm or soothe oneself in healthy ways, like breathing deeply, yoga, asking for help, spending time with friends they will turn to compulsive eating, alcohol additions, sugar, stimulants, drugs or compulsive behavior.

The big question, “How do you make it through the wait?”  “What choices do you make?” “Healthy or not healthy?”  “Productive or not?” “Do you run away or face reality?”  Where is your focus?  It is so easy to focus on the problems and feel lost and alone.  The waiting should not and can not be about the wait.  Instead of focusing on the circumstances that got us to where we are now, which can lead us to harmful things, people and actions, focus on where you want to be next, what you will do when your answer comes, and who can you help here while in the waiting room.  Think outside of yourself.

Instead, bond with friends and not pain.  Resist negativity in your head or with others.  Talk about what you are doing to move forward and most importantly take the time to have fun with others and do something for someone else.  That in itself is a powerful positive.

(Thanks to my Captain friend, Jeff King for the photo)

Sitting on the deck of a Beach house. The Island is calling my name, so loudly that it is deafening. The sound, the peace, the view, the solitude, the pure magnitude…screaming at me. The love of this solitude kinda scares me…hopefully not a sign. Looking at the vast ocean, it’s unending horizon, the endlessness, strangely reminds me of our vast differences. These thoughts are more than likely because of the amazing magnitude of God’s creation.

Looking through the sea oats, and thinking how they are the same, yet each one is different, not unlike us. We are all human, yet… Born in different cultures, traditions, family dynamics, birth order, different physically. You and I don’t see the same thing, think the same thing, learn the same things even in the very same situation. Think about that for a moment.

Yet we tend to judge, be arrogant enough to think we know what is best for others. How vain! Sadly, sometime we actually listen to others and not God. Seriously, how insecure! We each have all the tools we need, but because of circumstances, excuses, blame, selfishness and codependence, we miss it! We aren’t listening. And to think we have it all figured out enough to tell other how to act is down right scary. I would hope, actions would speak louder than words. What we need is non-judgmental, loving, understanding friendships. I do NOT have it figured out, but I DO know… GOD has my back.

1. Make Lists
2. Carry A Notebook Everywhere
3. Just Write
4. Get Away From The Computer
5. Quit Beating Yourself Up
6. Take Breaks
7. Sing In The Shower
8. Drink Coffee
9. Listen To New Music
10. Be Open
11. Listen To The People Around You
12. Get Feedback
13. Go Somewhere New
14. Don’t Force It
15. Be Yourself
16. Write Down Your Ideas
17. Have Fun, Always
18. Never Give Up
19. Get Plenty Of Rest
20. Break The Rules
21. Finish Something
22. Clean Something
23. Organize
24. Take A Risk Or Two
25. Count Every Blessing
26. Allow Yourself To Make A Mistake
27. Practice A Lot
28. Love Yourself
29. Love Others
30. Keep The Faith

This is sorta putting the pressure on… But, we all came into this world, physically made of the same stuff, no matter what our color, race, or ethnic background. Sure there are physical differences… We are all unique also! Same but different!

We enter our little world with cultural rules already mapped out for us. We don’t have a choice, we are not actually in control. We are at the mercy of our parents and environment. All of us… No matter where we are born. Think about that. Think about what you would be doing, had you been born in another place in this world. I hate to use this word, but we are brain washed. Sometimes, that turns out to be a good thing other times it’s a disaster.

We are however, all born with potential! We are born with unique thought processes and gifts. Maybe at times as a child we are guided to do things that our parents or mentors think we should do… But at some point (not sure when that is)…. We have to either give up and decide we want to live pleasing others or better yet, find out who we are and what we love – find our passion, fulfill our potential. It’s there!

When you realize and really think about the fact that you are authentic … You will begin to try and understand yourself better and even accept who you are. You will also begin to understand that same thing about others. You will begin to be yourself and stop trying to be someone you are not. You will realize that the fact is… Some people will like us and some won’t.

“…give up dancing in someone else’s shoes and just be yourself. That way, you’ll be less lonely, you’ll become a good friend to yourself, and your feet won’t hurt” – Charlotte Kasl, PH.D

We should always present ourselves as we are in any relationship or environment – no mask! That is pure honesty. Your potential vivid!

Ok… I’m rambling. But, how can we know what we want in life if we don’t know ourselves and our own potential. It’s wide open. We just need to realize it’s there and do everything in our power to find it. I’m still searching… But I know it’s there.

It was a small act of courage, coming to this Island alone, I admit. I seriously believe it has created a bit of a domino effect. I have learned so much but mostly that when you take a chance, you never know the ripples that will come from it. If you think about it, most of the good things in your life will actually be a by-product of a few risks. The bigger the risk the bigger the reward.

What is faith, anyway? Isn’t the essential element of faith, risk? Too many in life we, “play not to lose”… boring! It’s time to start “playing to win”! That will entail maximizing risks, but it is way more fun. Breaking even should never be good enough. Don’t bury your talents.

It all starts with setting goals. I am a true advocate. Goals put you automatically in the offensive instead of the defensive posture. There will always be regrets in life. It’s a given. I’ve done a few things I regret. Don’t let your regrets be about the things you wish you had done but didn’t take the risk. Hey, we all make mistakes but regrets of the “I wish I had…” nature, will somehow haunt you forever and make your life incomplete.

I have always wanted to live on an Island. I love being near the water, the sound of the waves, the constant breeze, watching EVERY sunrise and EVERY sunset. You can’t miss it…It’s a brand new day, created right before your eyes, for you to take your next risk.

I was met with some resistance when I made the decision to jump ship. Lots of it, money, fear, people, etc. What if I hadn’t? I will be forever proud that I did take the risk. The benefits have been overwhelming. I found way more than I expected to find. I found life. I found new friends. I connected with old friends. I found worth and much much more!

I will never have to say, “What if?” Problem is, this won’t be my last risk, I’m afraid.

Hey, Jump ship…. Take a Risk! Isn’t that box getting a little uncomfortable? Step out of it every now and then. I highly recommend it!

Brand New Day

Seriously, why does it take a tragedy close to home to make you realize how precious life really is? Are we that dense? Seriously, everyday there is sickness, death, and hurt, and we still complain. We get so wrapped up in self that we begin to whine, about life not being fair, then BAM! You feel like an idiot for whining about anything. Someone is suffering majorly and your little crap becomes embarrassing. Not that our pain isn’t pain but…

The sun does rise every morning like clock work. That in itself is something positive for us to count on. The world still turns on it’s axis amazingly. Wow do we take stuff for granite. The more we dwell on ourselves the smaller our world becomes and the less we see the amazing things happening around us.

There absolutely is something in everyday to be thankful for… Find it!

Journaling (LOL, this word is not in the dictionary)…. the simple act of telling the truth.  Frankly, I’ve been somewhat redundant in the past with my journaling.  It was more of a daily diary… “Yesterday, I…”.  Very boring and a chore on top of that.  However, I realized that if you can tell the truth, you can journal.  You don’t have to leave anything out or sugar coat it.  God knows you and what’s going on in your life anyway.  You aren’t hiding anything.  Journaling can be a form of praying on paper.  It’s a great way to stay focused on your prayers or thoughts without other junk, like the laundry, seaping in.

A journal should be a record of your daily blessings, thoughts, worries, fears, or mistakes.  It is fun going back to read old entries, well, some of them anyway.  I have a few entries that I will have a journal burning session with at some point.  I will post photos of those memories long gone.

A journal reveals who you actually are, no BS!  It may just be a vehicle to help you discover just that… Who are you?  Actually, you will realize that ONLY you and God know that… well really just God, but you will get closer to understanding yourself by journaling.

Give it a try sometime.  Take 10-15 minutes.  Start in an old spiral notebook,  what ever you have lying around.  You are worth it.  Your thoughts and soul are worth it.  Worth discovering.  One promise I will make … You will discover and grow more than you know.

TIPS:

• It’s best to have a comfortable quiet, private place to write
• Be consistent and persistent.  However, if you miss a day, get over it and write.
• It doesn’t matter if you are not a writer, just write.  Glue pictures, paint, draw, doodle, whatever.
• Journal by hand on paper – this is very medicinal
• Grammer, Punctuation, spelling, and organization – not important at all.

TOPICS:

• Experiences, Thoughts, Feelings
• Reactions to something you read or saw
• Prayers out loud
• Blessings and Praises
• Fears
• Questions for God – He can take it

NOW STOP WHAT YOU ARE DOING AND GO JOURNAL!

“Fill your paper with what your heart can relay, be your heart’s voice” – me