Waiting is painfully hard, especially when the wait is open ended. You are flying blind so it becomes very frustrating, very fast. You have a five hour window set aside for the plumber. Will he come in the first hour or the last five minutes? What do you do with your wait? Either way, the “not knowing” is very frustrating. We waste time and get impatient. Put that wait on a much larger scale and you have a serious issue if you let it.
When we are waiting on something, a job, an idea, an answer, “our wait” becomes a syndrome. It’s all we think about. It consumes us. We become “stuck”! It’s so easy to do and so hard to change and control. It’s like when you buy a white convertible, you suddenly realize there are so many of these on the road, that you never noticed before. Your brain can do strange things to us. You can easily get wrapped up in what caused our wait and end up in a downward spiral, or do things to help ignore the wait because it becomes so big and overwhelming. The wait causes anxiety which disrupts our ability to hear our friends, family and God clearly.
It’s easy to stay “stuck”! There are many causes to staying where you are and not moving forward, taking chances, or changing behaviors. Negative thinking is a biggy. It’s too difficult, too hot, too embarrassing, the wrong time of the year, it doesn’t feel good, there isn’t enough money, you name it! We can come up with some amazing excuses, or I can! Others thrive on the chaotic. Impulsivity and emotion become very strong, while planning and problem solving disappear, gone! Inability to calm or soothe oneself in healthy ways, like breathing deeply, yoga, asking for help, spending time with friends they will turn to compulsive eating, alcohol additions, sugar, stimulants, drugs or compulsive behavior.
The big question, “How do you make it through the wait?” “What choices do you make?” “Healthy or not healthy?” “Productive or not?” “Do you run away or face reality?” Where is your focus? It is so easy to focus on the problems and feel lost and alone. The waiting should not and can not be about the wait. Instead of focusing on the circumstances that got us to where we are now, which can lead us to harmful things, people and actions, focus on where you want to be next, what you will do when your answer comes, and who can you help here while in the waiting room. Think outside of yourself.
Instead, bond with friends and not pain. Resist negativity in your head or with others. Talk about what you are doing to move forward and most importantly take the time to have fun with others and do something for someone else. That in itself is a powerful positive.
(Thanks to my Captain friend, Jeff King for the photo)